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A BEAUTIFUL HOMEBIRTH STORY – Katrina

Home birth story 😍

I was ‘due’ with baby at the end of April 2018. Having been very careful in my first pregnancy to only tell people the end of my ‘due window’ date and to have mentally prepared for going to 42w or longer, and then birthed him at 39 + 6, somehow this time I’d messed up and actually told people the end of April! So as the 1st of may came and went I found that I was starting to get impatient – and irritated as the ‘any news yet’ texts started rolling in! Turns out I’m great at advising friends and family that babies ‘arrive when they’re ready’ but I’m not so patient myself! 

With my first I’d had no pre-labour signs at all and the first thing which happened was my waters breaking in the night. However, this time around I’d had tightenings, on and off low back ache, baby’s head engaging and waddling for a morning only for it to have gone back up after a lie down etc for weeks!

Having checked the weather forecast for the may bank holiday weekend I’d joked on the Thursday that Friday Eve would be perfect timing for baby to arrive! On Friday I was feeling quite emotional and irritated by my son so I did wonder if it would happen! I’d been watching home birth videos with my son to prepare him in case he was there and on Fri afternoon we watched a new one together. After we finished watching it I started becoming aware of some ‘period pain’ cramps starting to come and go. At the same time (around 3.15) my husband phoned to say he was leaving work and on his way home for the weekend. 

By the time he got in (around 4.45) I told him that tonight could be the night as although the cramps were mild they were coming and going every few minutes. We decided to continue with dinner and then Dan would at least blow up the birth pool just in case. I also text my doula and the midwives just to give them a heads up it could be tonight.

At 5.10 my phone rang and I answered, thinking it could be one of the midwives. However it wasn’t – it was an estate agent giving us the news we hadn’t got the house we wanted. I felt deflated and through dinner the cramps stopped and I was worried labour would stall. By 6ish though they had started again so I called the midwives and by 6.30 they were increasing in strength so I called again, and my doula, to say please come NOW.  My first birth was only a 4 hour active labour and I’d been warned this one was likely to be even faster so I suddenly wanted them here asap! I was thrilled when Alice (midwife on call) said that Tanya had been asked to be called as Tanya had been my named midwife through both pregnancies.

My son was still up and wanting to play so I just knelt on an armchair through surges and played with him in between. When Nikki (doula) arrived around 7, Dan took Charlie through to go to bed and left us to labour alone. Around 7.25 though Charlie came pottering out wanting mummy to put him to bed (we usually feed to sleep still at night). I judged he was close enough to sleep to give it a try so I went and laid down with him and let him have a feed. I had to use all my hypnobirthing concentration and affirmations to get through surges whilst staying relaxed so he could go to sleep!

At 7.40 he was down and I left him and returned to the sitting room. Surges were getting really quite strong and I could feel we really weren’t that far away. The midwives arrived (Alice, Tanya and a student) whilst I was still labouring knelt in the armchair and Dan cracked on with getting the tea and biscuits out (fortunately he already had the pool up and filled!).

After the next surge or two I asked if I could get in the pool as I was starting to feel the urge to push. It was heaven getting in! Once I was in I don’t think I had many more surges to breathe through before I could feel her head was there and ready! At that I panicked slightly inside as she was coming so fast I was worried I would tear. Dan tried to leave to go make more tea and for the first time I snapped at him to stay with me!

Her head was born in an unstoppable rush on one surge and then Tanya was able to warn me that there was a hand up and I was able to gently breathe her out through the next surge. I even managed to catch her this time whereas Laura (midwife) had had to help me with my son! Official birth time was 8.14, only 34 minutes after finishing putting Charlie to bed!

We had lots of cuddles in the water as we greeted our little girl (we hadn’t found out the sex and I’d not had any strong feelings this time, unlike with my son). However the placenta was being a little slow to come so eventually Dan cut the cord so Tanya and I could concentrate on getting it out whilst she had some skin to skin with daddy. The placenta then came out quite quickly and I got out the pool to be checked – miraculously no tears and not even a graze!

We snuggled on the sofa and all had a chat over tea and biscuits whilst the midwives finished their notes and did the first checks and weighed (7lb 9oz).

By half 10 everyone left us to it, with Alice joking she’d said she’d wanted a birth that evening, preferably done by 10pm 😉 we were happy to oblige!

Nikki Barrow Barile – Birth & Post-Natal Doula

I cannot express how blessed we are to live in an area with access to such amazing midwives, providing an incredible personalised service on the NHS. Nikki Barrow (doula) has also been an invaluable part of both our pregnancy/birthing journies and I would highly recommend all pregnant ladies consider hiring a doula to support them – wherever they plan on birthing their baby.

A Mothers Help – Post-Natal support for new mums

The first few months after having a baby are known as ‘the 4th trimester’. This is the period between  baby’s birth until they reach 3 mths old. It is a period of great change for a baby as they adjust to life outside of the womb. It is also a huge period of change for a woman – involving a lot of learning and challenges, mixed with sleep deprivation, but also excitement and joy.

The first few months following birth are a time to slow down, be kind to yourself and adjust to life with your new baby. It is a time to tune in to innate intuition as your guide. The 4th trimester is a special time to be honoured. Most women feel transformed as they bond with their baby.

There does seem to be a lot of pressure upon new mothers to continue with ‘normal’ life and to ‘bounce back’ to the person they were before they had their baby/s – both physically and mentally…. on top of managing a new baby. A lot of women also deal with the majority of household chores, especially while on maternity leave…running errands, and sometimes looking after a toddler too.

Common pressures and worries that might affect any new Mum might be:

  • loss of sleep, resulting in lack of energy and low mood
  • breastfeeding or bottle feeding – even when ‘successful’ – some women worry ‘I doing it right?’ ‘Is my baby getting enough?’
  • physical recovery – whether a natural vaginal delivery or Cesarean birth. Body shape/weight loss, pelvic floor or abdominal/core strength and tone.
  • a changed dynamic in the relationship with the baby’s father
  • comparisons to other mothers
  • financial strain due to maternity leave, and a return to work looming

and probably many many more things!

Many new parents live away from extended family or their parents, and so the practical help and emotional support of family and grandparents can be limited. Some new parents may have also recently moved to a new area and so a friendship group may not have been formed. However, usually there are lots of antenatal and post-natal groups where new friends can be made.

It’s so important for new mums to feel emotionally supported in the post-natal period – and if practical help can be sought, it can be invaluable in helping lift some of the pressures mothers may feel.

If finances allow, employing the help of a cleaner, can help take the strain of practical tasks. However, a kind Nurse once said to me when my children were babies: ‘No one will remember you for a clean and tidy house’ which really struck a chord with me…..

the first forty days, a lovely book for nurturing a new mother

Practical support ideas for a new mum:

  • Getting food shopping delivered – it’s worth setting this up prior to baby’s arrival.
  • Ask friends and family, if they live nearby to bring food you can eat or freeze for dinners
  • When you have visitors and they ask if there is anything they can do, say ‘YES’ and ask them to make sure you have fresh water, lunch made, or snacks to hand, and maybe to do simple tasks like empty the dishwasher, put the washing on the line or fold clothes for you
  • Employing the temporary help of: a cleaner, dog walker, gardener
  • Employing ‘a mothers help’ for the first few weeks post-partum, known as a Post-Natal Doula

Nikki Barrow Barile – Doula

What is a POST-NATAL DOULA?

A Post-Natal Doula, might also be known as ‘a mothers help’ – However a Doula is actually much much more than this!

A Doula believes in “mothering the mother” – enabling a woman to have the most satisfying and empowered time that she can during pregnancy, birth and the early days as a new mum. This type of support also helps the whole family to relax and enjoy the experience. source: Doula UK

a useful, small and easy to read book all about Baby’s first 100 days

Things a Post-Natal Doula might help with:

  • holding baby while mum catches up on some sleep
  • assistance with feeding baby – breast/bottle
  • cooking food for mum and her family
  • washing up, tidying, washing and drying/folding of clothes
  • going shopping and running errands
  • being there to listen and talk
  • signposting to local providers/therapists for any needs of the mother/baby
  • help entertain older siblings

For information about Doulas you can visit the Doula UK website, and search for Doulas in your area.

For information about Post-Natal Doula Services visit the DOULA SERVICES page on my website  DoulaVIBEs

If you are a Grandparent looking to give your daughter a new baby gift in Farnham, Surrey, I offer Gift Vouchers

For more info visit my DoulaVIBEs website xx