The first few months after having a baby are known as ‘the 4th trimester’. This is the period between 
baby’s birth until they reach 3 mths old. It is a period of great change for a baby as they adjust to life outside of the womb. It is also a huge period of change for a woman – involving a lot of learning and challenges, mixed with sleep deprivation, but also excitement and joy.
The first few months following birth are a time to slow down, be kind to yourself and adjust to life with your new baby. It is a time to tune in to innate intuition as your guide. The 4th trimester is a special time to be honoured. Most women feel transformed as they bond with their baby.
There does seem to be a lot of pressure upon new mothers to continue with ‘normal’ life and to ‘bounce back’ to the person they were before they had their baby/s – both physically and mentally…. on top of managing a new baby. A lot of women also deal with the majority of household chores, especially while on maternity leave…running errands, and sometimes looking after a toddler too.
Common pressures and worries that might affect any new Mum might be:
- loss of sleep, resulting in lack of energy and low mood
- breastfeeding or bottle feeding – even when ‘successful’ – some women worry ‘I doing it right?’ ‘Is my baby getting enough?’
- physical recovery – whether a natural vaginal delivery or Cesarean birth. Body shape/weight loss, pelvic floor or abdominal/core strength and tone.
- a changed dynamic in the relationship with the baby’s father
- comparisons to other mothers
- financial strain due to maternity leave, and a return to work looming
and probably many many more things!
Many new parents live away from extended family or their parents, and so the practical help and emotional support of family and grandparents can be limited. Some new parents may have also recently moved to a new area and so a friendship group may not have been formed. However, usually there are lots of antenatal and post-natal groups where new friends can be made.
It’s so important for new mums to feel emotionally supported in the post-natal period – and if practical help can be sought, it can be invaluable in helping lift some of the pressures mothers may feel.
If finances allow, employing the help of a cleaner, can help take the strain of practical tasks. However, a kind Nurse once said to me when my children were babies: ‘No one will remember you for a clean and tidy house’ which really struck a chord with me…..
the first forty days, a lovely book for nurturing a new mother
Practical support ideas for a new mum:
- Getting food shopping delivered – it’s worth setting this up prior to baby’s arrival.
- Ask friends and family, if they live nearby to bring food you can eat or freeze for dinners
- When you have visitors and they ask if there is anything they can do, say ‘YES’ and ask them to make sure you have fresh water, lunch made, or snacks to hand, and maybe to do simple tasks like empty the dishwasher, put the washing on the line or fold clothes for you
- Employing the temporary help of: a cleaner, dog walker, gardener
- Employing ‘a mothers help’ for the first few weeks post-partum, known as a Post-Natal Doula
Nikki Barrow Barile – Doula
What is a POST-NATAL DOULA?
A Post-Natal Doula, might also be known as ‘a mothers help’ – However a Doula is actually much much more than this!
A Doula believes in “mothering the mother” – enabling a woman to have the most satisfying and empowered time that she can during pregnancy, birth and the early days as a new mum. This type of support also helps the whole family to relax and enjoy the experience. source: Doula UK
a useful, small and easy to read book all about Baby’s first 100 days
Things a Post-Natal Doula might help with:
- holding baby while mum catches up on some sleep
- assistance with feeding baby – breast/bottle
- cooking food for mum and her family
- washing up, tidying, washing and drying/folding of clothes
- going shopping and running errands
- being there to listen and talk
- signposting to local providers/therapists for any needs of the mother/baby
- help entertain older siblings
For information about Doulas you can visit the Doula UK website, and search for Doulas in your area.
For information about Post-Natal Doula Services visit the DOULA SERVICES page on my website DoulaVIBEs
If you are a Grandparent looking to give your daughter a new baby gift in Farnham, Surrey, I offer Gift Vouchers
For more info visit my DoulaVIBEs website xx
