Tag: Doula

A Mothers Help – Post-Natal support for new mums

The first few months after having a baby are known as ‘the 4th trimester’. This is the period between  baby’s birth until they reach 3 mths old. It is a period of great change for a baby as they adjust to life outside of the womb. It is also a huge period of change for a woman – involving a lot of learning and challenges, mixed with sleep deprivation, but also excitement and joy.

The first few months following birth are a time to slow down, be kind to yourself and adjust to life with your new baby. It is a time to tune in to innate intuition as your guide. The 4th trimester is a special time to be honoured. Most women feel transformed as they bond with their baby.

There does seem to be a lot of pressure upon new mothers to continue with ‘normal’ life and to ‘bounce back’ to the person they were before they had their baby/s – both physically and mentally…. on top of managing a new baby. A lot of women also deal with the majority of household chores, especially while on maternity leave…running errands, and sometimes looking after a toddler too.

Common pressures and worries that might affect any new Mum might be:

  • loss of sleep, resulting in lack of energy and low mood
  • breastfeeding or bottle feeding – even when ‘successful’ – some women worry ‘I doing it right?’ ‘Is my baby getting enough?’
  • physical recovery – whether a natural vaginal delivery or Cesarean birth. Body shape/weight loss, pelvic floor or abdominal/core strength and tone.
  • a changed dynamic in the relationship with the baby’s father
  • comparisons to other mothers
  • financial strain due to maternity leave, and a return to work looming

and probably many many more things!

Many new parents live away from extended family or their parents, and so the practical help and emotional support of family and grandparents can be limited. Some new parents may have also recently moved to a new area and so a friendship group may not have been formed. However, usually there are lots of antenatal and post-natal groups where new friends can be made.

It’s so important for new mums to feel emotionally supported in the post-natal period – and if practical help can be sought, it can be invaluable in helping lift some of the pressures mothers may feel.

If finances allow, employing the help of a cleaner, can help take the strain of practical tasks. However, a kind Nurse once said to me when my children were babies: ‘No one will remember you for a clean and tidy house’ which really struck a chord with me…..

the first forty days, a lovely book for nurturing a new mother

Practical support ideas for a new mum:

  • Getting food shopping delivered – it’s worth setting this up prior to baby’s arrival.
  • Ask friends and family, if they live nearby to bring food you can eat or freeze for dinners
  • When you have visitors and they ask if there is anything they can do, say ‘YES’ and ask them to make sure you have fresh water, lunch made, or snacks to hand, and maybe to do simple tasks like empty the dishwasher, put the washing on the line or fold clothes for you
  • Employing the temporary help of: a cleaner, dog walker, gardener
  • Employing ‘a mothers help’ for the first few weeks post-partum, known as a Post-Natal Doula

Nikki Barrow Barile – Doula

What is a POST-NATAL DOULA?

A Post-Natal Doula, might also be known as ‘a mothers help’ – However a Doula is actually much much more than this!

A Doula believes in “mothering the mother” – enabling a woman to have the most satisfying and empowered time that she can during pregnancy, birth and the early days as a new mum. This type of support also helps the whole family to relax and enjoy the experience. source: Doula UK

a useful, small and easy to read book all about Baby’s first 100 days

Things a Post-Natal Doula might help with:

  • holding baby while mum catches up on some sleep
  • assistance with feeding baby – breast/bottle
  • cooking food for mum and her family
  • washing up, tidying, washing and drying/folding of clothes
  • going shopping and running errands
  • being there to listen and talk
  • signposting to local providers/therapists for any needs of the mother/baby
  • help entertain older siblings

For information about Doulas you can visit the Doula UK website, and search for Doulas in your area.

For information about Post-Natal Doula Services visit the DOULA SERVICES page on my website  DoulaVIBEs

If you are a Grandparent looking to give your daughter a new baby gift in Farnham, Surrey, I offer Gift Vouchers

For more info visit my DoulaVIBEs website xx

A POSITIVE ACTIVE BIRTH with YOGA BREATHING

“Hi Nikki. Look who arrived on Tuesday morning 😍 Ottilie Margaret. We had an amazing 12 hour labour where I stayed on my feet or knees the whole time. With each contraction I used the golden thread breath (it was a bit noisier then in our class!) and a lot of vowel breaths. Although the pain was unlike anything I could have imagined I felt very in control and trusted what was happening. 

Unfortunately it ended with an emergency C section….I got a violent bout of sickness and her heart rate shot up. They tried a number of things but it wouldn’t stabilise so out she came. They weren’t sure if one of us had an infection or the cord was around her neck.

Fortunately on arrival she seemed fine…..but even on the theatre table I used all the techniques I’ve been practicing since week 15 of my pregnancy. Thank you for a brilliant class which prepared me for a really positive birth experience. See you soon for baby yoga! Fi Xxx”

LOOKING FOR A UNIQUE GIFT FOR A NEW OR EXPECTANT MUM?

If you are a Grandparent, Friend or Partner of a new mummy, or mummy to be, and looking for a unique gift for her, I offer Gift Vouchers here for POST-NATAL DOULA SUPPORT (similar to ‘a mothers help’) PREGNANCY YOGA CLASSES, AND ACTIVE BIRTH WORKSHOPS

 

A Homebirth Story

“Hi Nikki, I had my baby boy this morning (39+5) at home in the pool at 7.38 and his weight was 9lbs 8oz. Had to go to the hospital though for the third degree tear that needed repairing in the theatre under the spinal block. Hopefully will get to go home shortly.

I used golden thread breath and ocean breath for most of it. Thank you so much as these helped tremendously xx Kasia”

 

Kasia’s Full Birth Story:

Got my hbac 😍. Baby Finn born on Monday 29th Jan weighing 4.320kg (9lbs8oz) at 39+5 weeks

💙 birth story 💙

After falling asleep with my toddler just after 8pm I woke up around 11pm with what I initially thought were BH. Had them quite strong since about 37th week every night but this time they felt somehow different- very low at the front of my belly and in my lower back. I went downstairs to hang around for a bit and see if they would stop at some point. After a while I noticed a pattern so decided to time it and it turned out the contractions were coming every 3-3.30 minutes and were lasting about a minute but were bearable so I didn’t want to ring my midwife just yet as I still wasn’t convinced I was in labour. And also being “only” 39+5 as with my first baby I went to 41+6 so was kind of expecting similar gestation this time around..
After being awake for about 2 hrs I decided to go back to bed and see if I can have a little nap but I kept waking up every so often with the stronger surges so I said to myself “right – I’m going to have a bath and see if this changes anything”. I said to my partner that I think something was happening and I’m going for a bath for some relief. it was just after 2am at this point. the bath felt lovely and I stayed there for well over an hour as it was so nice and I didn’t feel like getting out. I checked the times between contractions and they were closer together now – every 2.20-2.45 minutes and lasted just over a minute but were definitely stronger, so I gathered myself and got out of the bath and decided to ring my IM – Kathryn. It was just before 4am when I rang her. I don’t think I sounded very convincing about the labour as I could talk normally only just stopped for 20ish second with a contraction. Kathryn said she can come over if I wanted her to or I can just wait another while until the contractions get longer. I wasn’t really sure and said ok will give it another while then, but she advised it was probably a good idea to start setting up the birthing pool, so I got excited this is it! I went upstairs to wake my partner up and repeated what Kathryn said. Off he went downstairs setting up the pool! As he was getting off the bed my toddler woke up! So I went back to bed to snuggle with Charlie trying to get him back to sleep. Darkness and cuddles with my toddler must have released more oxytocin as the contractions started getting stronger and longer 🙈. I began breathing louder through them (I was using my favourite breath – golden thread!) and after a while I felt the need to get out of the bed as I couldn’t stay any longer in the curled up position. I tried to move my toddler to the side and was hoping he was asleep but he was having none of it and asked for a feed 😬. There was no way I wanted to face the contractions getting even stronger with him feeding! My partner heard us having a debate on feeding and came up to take Charlie downstairs. I have followed then with only one thought in my mind “please the pool be ready!”, thankfully it was! I got in and it was such a relief.. It must have been about 5.30am. The contractions were getting stronger and stronger and after a while I started feeling like there is something I need to push out! With one of the contractions my plug went and I got into a bit of a panic and shouted to Michael to ring our midwife! When he rang her it was 6.30am and after she heard me moaning in the background she said she was coming over! So Kathryn arrived at around 7am. once I saw her I said “I can’t do this- it’s too sore!” to which she replied – of course you can. you are doing it. It is only minutes not hours left. I promise you. – this gave me a boost and at that point I just couldn’t wait to meet my baby! I felt my waters going within the next few minutes and not long after baby’s head was born after it rocked forth and back with a few contractions and then with the following contraction (during which I shouted- he is kicking me! – that was such a weird feeling having the baby kicking inside while his head was out! but I was just reassured that the baby was doing his little turn) he was out at 7.38am. I was in a bit of a shock and meant to pick him up myself but somehow felt paralysed and couldn’t believe the baby was actually out! My midwife placed him on my chest and it was such wonderful feeling 😍. he was very calm and had a bunch of black hair and vernix on his bum and back. It was lovely having my first born witness his baby brother being born- he straight away wanted to touch baby’s head and it was so sweet of him to also say hello to the baby. We stayed in the pool for cuddles and first feed. Placenta followed just over 20 minutes after the baby was born. Cord was left until white and limp and then daddy cut it and we moved to the couch.

At the examination it turned out I had a 3rd degree tear that needed fixing in theatre under spinal block, so the ambulance was called and we transferred. Baby stayed with me all the time and we were back home same day late eveving. It all would have been perfect if we didn’t have to transfer but even so this doesn’t take away from the wonderful home birth- such incomparable experience to my first labour in hospital which ended with cs. If I could only turn back time – I would have definitely attempted a homebirth and chose an IM for the pregnancy and birth.

Michael just wanted to add: “it was so lovely to be in our own environment and to feel in control compared to a hospital environment. Amazing that Charlie was able to be present for the birth”.

❤ Thank you to wonderful Independent Midwife Kathryn Weymouth for the support and stress free pregnancy ❤

https://www.mylittlebubble.co.uk/yoga/